Song of the day: Hallelujah (live) /
Matt Patrick - Time Flies
Its been a long time. A long time since I wrote. A long time since a song hit me so hard. The song of the day is off Matt Patrick's newest album. Many of you know Matt and his wife Diane. Incredible people with incredible hearts. Matt is a fantastic musician. A musician, with a talent for the instrument (any and all instuments) as well as voice. I don't know what it is in his voice, a slight cry, almost pleading call for God's love. Gotta hear it. you'll love it. Anyway its rare that i fall in to complete worship. Its been many years in fact. But for some reason, tonight I just happen to throw on my iPod and this song just slammed me.
Maybe its the place i'm in... Sort of an end of myself. At the end of my massive level of self control and pride. Wait... self-control is not what I mean ... rather perserverance is a better word. Anyway its nearing its end... I'm tired, wore out. My humor, confidence, self-esteem are all out the window... so it is at this spot I sit... Angry, tired, sore and confused.
I could go into all the little things that brought me into this place, but there is not enought memory on google's servers to store all the crap... but what I can tell you is that no matter what, no matter how hard you try to fight, how hard you try to hold on... we, in the end, do not have control. The almighty power struggle. Captain Dan's struggle with God on the boat in Forrest Gump... No matter what you do ...You can't stack the deck, you're delt the cards you are delt and you have to play em. Now I knew this 15 years ago. Most people know this. But do you really KNOW this? Do I really KNOW this? God is God... I am man... and thats that... This is where I am tonight... at a place where I am wrapped up in all the crappy cards that have been delt to me and then all the sudden through a song, or a circumstance or pure frustration... A moment of truth, a moment of clarity, if only for an instant.
Its not the cards man... you're cards aren't perfect. but you can still win...
and with that I awake and say, "Bless the Lord all my soul and all that is within me!"
i leave with this verse from the song on my lips.
I did my best
but it wasn't much
I couldn't feel
So I learned to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool ya
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but .... hallelujah..
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Sorry if this made absolutely no sense to you... but it does to me and thats cool.
Thanks Carmi for the note, I've needed to write again. Thanks dude.
Good Mondays everyone!